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| Kuva tasan kymmenen vuoden takaa, marraskuulta 2009. Tiinan tauti oli tauolla ja Venla oli juuri opettanut Elsan kirjoittamaan. Tässä ensimmäisen oppitunnin tulos. |
Ennen kirjan ilmestymistä tein - tyylilleni uskollisena - excel-taulukon, johon listasin kirjan KPI:t (KPI = Key performance indicator = mittarit joilla mitataan tavoitteisiin pääsyä). Yleensä KPI:t ovat käytössä yritysmaailmassa, mutta hyvin ne ovat omassa kirjaprojektissanikin toimineet.
Syksyllä 2018 päätin seurata kirjan menestystä ja sitä kautta minulle tuomaa elämän sisältöä seuraavilla mittareilla:
- Myyntimäärä
- Lehtijutut
- Radio / TV näkyvyys
- Some-näkyvyys
- Kirjan tuomat uudet ihmiskontaktit
- Lainausmäärä kirjastoissa
- Muut asiat (esim. kirjamessut, kutsut tulla kirjan aiheista puhumaan, äänikirja, käännösoikeudet)
- Tiinan blogin kävijämäärät
- Kirjan Facebook-sivun seuraajien määrä
Tämä hetken tietojen ja tilanteen mukaan kirjan myyntimäärä, lehtijutut, some-näkyvyys ja kirjaston lainausmäärät ovat hieman ylittäneet sen, mistä uskalsin haaveilla. Tämä näkyy myös blogin vierailijoiden määrässä (noin 15 000 / kk tämän vuoden aikana) ja Facebook-sivun seuraajissa (lähes 400).
Odotuksiin nähden isoa plussaa ovat olleet kirjamessujen haastattelut ja äänikirjan ilmestyminen. Myös suoraan minulle tulleen palautteen määrä ja sisältö on ylittänyt odotukset kirkkaasti.
Odotusteni mukaisesti olen saanut tutustua useaan uuteen ihmiseen kirjan myötä. Myös odotusteni mukaisesti radio ja TV eivät ole kirjasta olleet kiinnostuneita eikä kukaan ole kysellyt käännösoikeuksien perään.
Mittausmenetelmistä huolimatta tärkeintä minulle ei kirjan suhteen ole olleet myyntimäärät eikä medianäkyvyys. Tärkeintä on ollut se tunne, kun tajusi saaneensa tämän tehtyä. Se tunne, kun saa koskettavaa palautetta suoraan lukijoilta.
Mutta haaveilua pitää jatkaa, että jaksaa. Monesti haaveet toteutuvat helpommin, jos niiden eteen tekee jotain. Niinpä alla kirjan ensimmäinen luku englanniksi. Käännös on minun itseni tekemä ja sisältänee virheitä ja kömpelöitä lauserakenteita. Tätä saa jakaa jos jollain on kirja-alan kontakteja ulkomailla 😊
* * *
PROLOGUE
of my book "My wife's left breast and other sick stuff"
I fill my own glass, for my wife I pour only the height of two fingers. Red wine smells like the good old days when I carry glasses to the TV room. The armchair is soft as always. Tiina has taken over half of the couch in a half-lying position, and the dog is as close to her as possible. I taste wine, I open my laptop. The new text file gets named as Tiina’s List.
We start with the easy ones. I write down Elsa's piano teacher phone number, directions to the place where the dog gets trimmed, and the birth dates of our godchildren. Tiina lists all the nine names and dates from memory, without hesitation.
I sip wine, my glass is already half empty. Tiina has only tasted her drink. We take the next step and go through bank and social media accounts. Against all security recommendations I write down Tiina’s passwords. We add me as a co-author of the blog and as trusted person in Facebook. We agree that I will update blog when Tiina no longer is able to do it herself.
I look at my list and do not want to take any more topics. Tiina disagrees. Together we decide to take care of the death-stuff.
"How about funeral program, do you have any wishes?"
Tiina lists hymns, songs and names of people, she has clearly thought about this. "That one song is so difficult that most people can't sing it. Make a note that it is not for community singing."
I type in that note.
"Then the burial method. Was is so that you like to have cremation?" I inquire like a waiter asking about the steak's doneness.
"Yeah, wouldn't cremation be nice?" Tiina glances at me.
A small smile lifts to my face. "Well don't know if it's nice, but at least I would like to have cremation when it is my time."
"Let's take it."
I continue to next item in the funeral list. "Where you want to be buried? And any wishes for the gravestone?"
Tiina thinks for a moment. "There's something I do not like in Liminka cemetery. There is so many mosquitos and it’s pretty dark."
I look questioningly.
"So maybe Intiö would be better?" Tiina answers with a question.
I disagree. I want my wife’s grave in the middle of nature and close to my skiing tracks, not in the city close to my workplace. The case remains open.
"You can choose the stone you want, or just a tile will do fine." Tiina glances at me with a small grin on her face. "There is pretty nice urn area in Intiö."
Nice again. I smile inwardly and jump to the next item. "How about organ donation?"
Tiina looks at me as if I were asking where she wants to spend her retirement days. "Do you really think someone wants organs full of cancer?" She continues with formal tone in her voice: "A cancer patient cannot act as an organ donor."
I nod. "What do you want me to do with your clothes?"
"Give Venla and Elsa and my sisters what they want and donate the rest, don't start selling them." The instructions are clear. After as small pause I get the familiar gaze and refinement: "Underwear must then be immediately trashed. They are - of course - not for donation."
Of course not. I nod as if I had taken care of the death estate's underwear handling before.
"Hmm… what else." I cross out items in the list. "Can I put a public announcement to Facebook and your blog when, that is, when ..."
"... when I die", Tiina completes my sentence. "Yeah you can and I'm fine with that, but make sure close ones get the information first."
We move on to drafting of the obituary. Tiina asks me to hand out Bible and aphorism books from the bookshelf. She browses them for a moment, while I go to the bathroom.
"Somehow these are all so insipid. Do you remember that song by Haloo Helsinki about dipping your toes in cold water?"
I tell I remember, grab the CD from the shelf and play it. It is windy on the moon, sings the band.
"Wouldn't that chorus be nice?"
Nice again. I listen to the words even though I know them by memory. I agree. I wonder if the copyright rules apply to obituaries, but I don't share my concerns with Tiina. "Should we tentatively agree to use this?" That's how it's agreed.
It feels I’m running out of power. The most difficult parts of the list are not yet crossed out. Valtteri, Venla, Elsa and a bunch of related sub-items. We will leave them for later. After all, there is time. There is time?
I get up from my chair and say in Columbo style, "Just one more thing." I rub my hands together and talk a little too fast. "Would it be ok if I make a book based on your blog? I would take texts from there and then write some of my own?" I take a look at Tiina, she smiles and changes to a better position on the couch. "So I just thought writing could be good for me. And if I get something sensible done, I could try publishing it. But of course I don't write anything too intimate, like descriptions of our sex life." I bite my tongue.
Tiina laughs. "Sure, fine, nice if you can do that."
Really nice.
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